Teaching My Girls About Boys…From Daddy’s Point of View

Article by Rodney Southern 

As a writer who spends his entire summer working from home with two ten year old twin daughters under my roof, I relate to the dog days of summer. My girls are my world and I would not dream of having it any other way, but I also need my silence on occasion. It was with this backdrop that I was posed with the following…

“Daddy, can I ask you a question?”

From previous experience I knew this could be about anything from world hunger to why poots are not smelly all the time. Despite my deadlines looming, I agreed to give her an audience.

In a sweet and adorable voice that is only heard by the luckiest of men, she asked me the question I have dreaded from the day she was born.

“Will you really be upset if I liked a boy?”

I had told everyone in the family of my fears about their eventual dating and it was abundantly clear that she had heard at least a portion of my diatribe. The thought was far too big and confusing for my Papa Bear instincts to deal with and she picked up on that.

I settled her down and talked with her a little bit about the whole thing. It turns out she has a little crush on a boy from school and she was feeling a bit confused about the whole thing. I explained to her that it was normal and that boys would likely become a big part of their lives at some point.

Then it hit me…is it time? Should they get the conversation about boys that I had rehearsed for years in my mind?

I gathered my girls in the living room and sat them down on the floor in front of me. With careful consideration, I chose my words and delivered the basics. I went through the whole boys like girls thing and what was right and okay in God’s eyes as we believe. I told them about how boys can be really pushy and ask them to things that they should not. I even told them what those things were and all the different ways they would try it.

As uncomfortable as all of that was, it felt good to get it out and explain it all to them. It also opened up a torrent of questions that I was not ready for.

“What is a french kiss?” (That is when two people kiss in France)

“Why do boys say “cool” all the time?” (Because they don’t understand most things so they call them cool so they don’t feel dumb)

“Can I hold hands? Is that okay?” (Only if the boy is wearing gloves and it is really cold out)

“Will you beat them up if they hurt my feelings?” (That depends on where the Cops might be at a given moment)

*None of the answers given above are actual answers I gave them…..Really…

The list was endless and the questions came on like a torrent. My wife had already discussed some of the more personal questions, so the girl were not totally uninformed. Still, they clearly wanted my point of view.

Eventually the conversation got serious and turned to something we had talked about before, but without detail. We discussed handling boys that would not listen to the word no.

Just when I thought I had finished up, my daughter looks up at me and says, “Daddy, what if I mess up and make a mistake? What if I forget some of all of this?”

For a moment I felt like someone punched me in my gut. Young as she is I knew that she had not already made such a mistake but the reality of the future became clear. Without knowing exactly what to say at first, I simply told her that I would love her no matter what. The main thing was that she should come to me and talk about it. If she did not feel comfortable with me, then she should go to her mom.

I imagine I must have been looking pretty stressed, because in that moment she looked at me and said, “Daddy, I did come to you for this didn’t I? Why wouldn’t I come to you for that, too?”

It took me a moment to realize the power of what she had said, but as I looked into those crystal blue eyes it occurred to me….

She came to me, indeed.

Based in Greensboro, Rodney Southern has been writing and editing sports and nature articles for going on 10 years. His articles have appeared in “Nicean” magazine, “The Sporting News” website and countless other online venues. Southern was the 2008 Ultimate Call for Content National Award Winner. He attended Guilford Tech and was trained as an EMT in the Army. He now spends his life chasing his two twin daughters and loving his incredible wife while chasing the book in his head.