Let me start by saying that I am not normally a violent person. If there must be a death, I prefer bloodless deaths (i.e. avalanche scene in Mulan). And I took 2 years of horticulture, just to get out of dissecting a frog. Seriously.
Today, instead of flaunting my flowers, I am flaunting my ability to squash bugs without ever touching them. My daughter said, “I’m sure lots of other people use the same method, they just don’t publicly acknowledge it”. She is probably right, but I have decided to share my method on the off chance that you are in need of a touchless bug removal system.
I have been battling squash bugs for a little while this summer. Since I prefer bloodless deaths, I try to remove and destroy as many eggs as possible. They often lay their eggs in the V of the squash leaves: 
I either tear or cut that portion of the leaf off.
Sometimes they lay eggs on the stem: 
You can either scrape them off or remove the stem.
Once they have hatched, I escalate to organic insecticidal soap: 
You want to make sure there is not any collateral damage, so you don’t want your insecticide to be too strong.
How to Make Insecticidal Soap Spray:
Combine 2 tablespoons Dr. Bronner’s Liquid Peppermint Pure-Castile Soap with 1 quart water in a spray bottle. Shake vigorously to combine. Use as needed.
If they survive to adulthood, I flush them out by watering the plants which causes them to move to the top of the plant: 
Then I take a piece of leaf in my hand: 
And use the leaf to catch the bug: 
Then I place the folded leaf on a stone: 
And use my shoe to smash it: 
I put all the leaves, stems, and crushed bugs into a plastic bag like the one that blew into my yard on trash day: 
When your plants are done producing, remove them immediately to lessen the chance of another infestation next year. Because instead of dying plants and ugly bugs, you want to see bees pollinating your squash flowers:
So that you have an abundant harvest: 
I am not proud of either my squeamishness or my new prowess, but I do hope this helps you if your garden is ever invaded.
What organic methods of pest control do you use in your garden?
Shana Putnam says
We are battling a few bugs but the chickens won’t stay out of the garden. We let them free range of course but how can I keep them out. Soapy water helped a little but washes off I guess.
Tricia @Hodgepodge says
Ah! Thank you SO much for linking to your tutorial. It was a present in my comment box. You described me exactly. I just wanted to walk away and think about it tomorrow, Scarlett.
~Tricia
Tootsie says
this is a great post! I do similar things…lol you are just braver than me to share it! hahahaha!
Erin says
I am having trouble with zucchini that wither after about 4"…it is failure to thrive that is heartbreaking. Bugs would be a nice solution…how sad is that?
Lisa says
I found that the bees and other pollinators were not doing their job on my squash or cucumbers. These plants are not self pollinating, because the male and female parts are in separate flowers on the same plant, rather than both in the same flower as in peas and beans and tomatoes. So you have to be their substitute. In the early morning hours, before things heat up go into your garden and observe your squash plant flowers. If you wait until too late in the day the flowers will close up and you get fruit that doesn’t mature. Look carefully and you will notice there are 2 different types of flowers! Some are male and some are female. The female flowers have more of a cup shaped, pollen free center and the males have more of a stem shaped, pollen covered center. Carefully transfer some of the pollen from the male flower into the female flowers. You can do this by carefully picking the male flower and pulling off the flower petals, leaving the pollen intact and rubbing the pollen into the female flower centers. You can use one male flower to pollinate 2 or 3 females. Alternately, you could use a cotton swab to transfer the pollen. Plant lots of sweet smelling flowers in your yard next year to help attract more pollinators! Good luck!
Dawn says
Lisa that’s a great tip! Seems that there are much less bees around this year and I was a bit worried about my squash not pollinating, so I’m definitely will try this. I’m going to use a soft small painters brush to do the job!
Native Cracker says
The bee and other pollinating populations are in decline due to toxins used by big companies.
Grow the flowers that host butterflies in your garden for pollinating. When we benefit the pollinators, we benefit.
Beth says
Today I began washing fresh broccoli in the sink, and out came two green worms and an earwig! Eeewww! I shall try to keep them outside and try your methods of pest control in the future. Have a nice wknd!
Beth
Kristin says
This was good and funny!
Debbie says
Thanks for the info; I hate bugs and it has sure been a buggy year for us. A lot of moisture and then hot and dry. I have potato bugs this year and they sure crunch when you squash them. UGH!
Alea says
Melissa-
You can use my method for picking them up and then drop them in a bucket of soapy water where they will drown. It is a little less disgusting.
Melissa says
These are great tips. I think it would still be hard to squash one of those big juicy tomato hornworms. I'll leave that to my hubby. 🙂
Dragonfly Treasure says
Great post wiuth great tips!!
*hugs*deb
Millie says
I love reading tutorials, but I have never before seen a bug-squashing tutorial! The other info was very good too…thankfully I have not seen these bugs around my garden yet.
Darla says
Battling bugs this year has been a job hasn't it?