Let me start by saying that I am not normally a violent person. If there must be a death, I prefer bloodless deaths (i.e. avalanche scene in Mulan). And I took 2 years of horticulture, just to get out of dissecting a frog. Seriously.
Today, instead of flaunting my flowers, I am flaunting my ability to squash bugs without ever touching them. My daughter said, “I’m sure lots of other people use the same method, they just don’t publicly acknowledge it”. She is probably right, but I have decided to share my method on the off chance that you are in need of a touchless bug removal system.
I have been battling squash bugs for a little while this summer. Since I prefer bloodless deaths, I try to remove and destroy as many eggs as possible. They often lay their eggs in the V of the squash leaves: 
I either tear or cut that portion of the leaf off.
Sometimes they lay eggs on the stem: 
You can either scrape them off or remove the stem.
Once they have hatched, I escalate to organic insecticidal soap: 
You want to make sure there is not any collateral damage, so you don’t want your insecticide to be too strong.
How to Make Insecticidal Soap Spray:
Combine 2 tablespoons Dr. Bronner’s Liquid Peppermint Pure-Castile Soap with 1 quart water in a spray bottle. Shake vigorously to combine. Use as needed.
If they survive to adulthood, I flush them out by watering the plants which causes them to move to the top of the plant: 
Then I take a piece of leaf in my hand: 
And use the leaf to catch the bug: 
Then I place the folded leaf on a stone: 
And use my shoe to smash it: 
I put all the leaves, stems, and crushed bugs into a plastic bag like the one that blew into my yard on trash day: 
When your plants are done producing, remove them immediately to lessen the chance of another infestation next year. Because instead of dying plants and ugly bugs, you want to see bees pollinating your squash flowers:
So that you have an abundant harvest: 
I am not proud of either my squeamishness or my new prowess, but I do hope this helps you if your garden is ever invaded.
What organic methods of pest control do you use in your garden?
Janelle says
Can you over spray your plants with the soap solution?
Sondra Kennedy says
I have had success by planting liberal amounts of dill and radishes all around my squash/zucchini bed. I never saw a squash bug! let the dill and radishes flower and go to seed. it works!
Marshall Reagan says
the problem I had this year was cabbage loopers & deer. if you have any suggestions ,I would love to read them. I know ,shoot the deer. they are not around during hunting season.
Vicki says
Mammoth sunflowers saved my squash and zucchini. Squash bugs flocked to the huge flowers and left my veggies alone. Will never plant again without them.
Carrie Bell says
I use the soapy water but I also add 1 Tbs. of (100% cold pressed) neem oil in the mixture as well. It is organic and the mixture stays on better.
Suzanne says
I have been battling squash bugs bad this year too. I use duct tape! It gets the eggs off and it also works great on grabbing the baby bugs and adults!
Nicole says
I had horrible squash bug problems. I have tried all of the same methods that you did until I finally came across this brilliant idea – duck tape. Simply take duck tap and press it against the eggs or bugs that you want gone and, ‘viola,’ they’re stuck to the tape and your leaf isn’t mutalated or torn to shreds!
Melissa T says
This is my first year to have a garden. I discovered what a squash bug was and I have to say, I HATE THEM. I have fought them off all summer long. Finally they won and destroyed my squash plants. I did the soap and water and it worked fantastic. I checked daily for eggs and bugs but some how I would miss them and find a group hatching every so often. They finally took over and I could not control them anymore. Do you think if I tried planting in a different area next year that might help cut down?
Alea Milham says
I would definitely recommend planting in a different area next year. You can also try using diatomaceous earth early in the season to discourage squash bugs from taking up residence in your garden.
Tiffany says
I have done well planting eggplant 🍆 to deter bugs from the squash I like to eat. Worked wonderful last year and I don’t eat eggplant so idc that it was overtaken
Zack says
I am super squeamish too! Inside, the vacuum is my favorite method and outside, I have a picker that I use to grab them so I don’t have to get too close!
Alea Milham says
LOL! My husband likes to vacuum insects too. And he sings “another one bites the dust” while vacuuming them up.